I haven't written anything that will help you understand.

It's.....it's like an itching feeling that makes me want to cover my ears

and press and press and press

until I hear your voice. keep pressing until I can hear your voice

until you're loud enough for everyone to hear and they KNOW I'm not crazy

I have to lay on my arms some nights so that my arms become numb

When they feel heavy and dead it's harder for me to

claw at my ears in the night when I dream your voice

I live alone now because I don't want anyone to hear me yell out when I'm asleep

Or when I can't take it

I haven't written anything because I've been busy

going to the store

I buy alcohol and cotton swabs every other day now

I'm worried though because it used to only happen on

mondays, because of that song you liked-

I don't really care about it anymore-

but now I wake up everyday to hurting

Because I haven't written anything at all

and i can't hear you