A better chance

sometimes I wonder if I looked at that picture
while standing in the exact place where I was in that picture,
that the gods would recreate the moment around me
and I'd be able to turn my head just a fraction of an inch
and tell you how much I appreciate you
I could tell you million instances where I thought
I was near my down fall but my hatred for kept me going
I could tell you about those hard nights when
I missed you until my heart hurt and I cried
and how I started emulating you-before I started to resent you
I would expound on all the times I dreamed you were off at some
war, or protesting, or dead
that one always made me feel a little guilty
I could tell you all about the times where I doubted you
cared for me at all.
the honesty would be exhilarating and eventually
I'd get to telling you about how I think you're looking for success the wrong way
I'd cite articles and police records and old high school transcripts
and tell you what I'd spent nights re imagining your life to look like
and then I'd tell--after all that
That I love you, and that I don't think about your future anymore than mine anymore
--it could all be a mistake but then there will be a better chance