there are things I want to say to you, things I want to ask
like how your day went and how you felt when you woke up and I was still with you,
or what the ground smelled like as you walked to your car & it was raining.
there are gestures I feel like making, time I want to give,
like walking in the cold to bring you a jacket, or riding my bike to your car
so you don’t have to walk home alone.
are all these thoughts just wasted space?
I’d do it in a heartbeat and you know that.
the thought counts but my body aches
knowing that I can’t rightly do it.
there's another realm in which I have to live,
one I attempt to reconcile with this.
but nothing can change the fact that when
you really know someone, you memorize
the way their fingers curl around yours.
his palm is too big, his hands are too rough,
and I don't understand why I can't find you
in someone else.
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